I hear you - the anger is very hard to deal with. I think it comes from the sense of betrayal that her first allegiance is to the authoritarian organization and also the fact that it is so obviously manipulative to those outside but that she WON'T LISTEN to a message being delivered out of love and caring which creates an overwhelming sense of lack of trust and then there si the guerilla warfare over the kids. My missus isn't taklking to me because I successfully hijacked her latest attempt to drag my 7 year old to the KH by using her unbaptized brother to look after him as I wasn't around. So the slience is now deafening! I hate that evil organization, which has manipulated her her whole life and has turned her into someone I don't recognise since she was reinstated, so much it is hard to put in words. And we have only been married 2.5 years and she ahs only been back in since her dfing for 1.5 so goodness knows how much anger I will have after 17 years if I make it that long!
Frazzled UBM
JoinedPosts by Frazzled UBM
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How can I stop hating the JW religion?
by marriedtoajw inhaving this spiritual division between my wife and i over the years has been very draining in many ways.
so much so that i find myself more and more hating everything having to do with the wtbts especially when i just see watchtower literature.
i've kind of always felt that way but it's getting worst.
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Proof of Noah's Flood - Presently watching a Documentary about Europe & the Ice Age
by *lost* infirst time i ever heard anyone say there was 'proof' of noah's flood.. very interesting,.
showed a trawler, where the team dredges regularly in the north sea - for animal bones, massive land animal bones, mammoths.. he said, originally, the bones were sent for analysis, and the dr stated, they were proof of noah's flood.. the north sea area was a land mass of dry grazing lands.
and it was very similar to africa.. many bones were found in london, of lions, hippos, etc ... when they were digging out the underground.. .
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Frazzled UBM
Ther is not evidence of the Flood or Noah's Ark. A number of years ago a bunch of Christian scientists went out to prove the existence of Noah's Ark but after many years gave up and acknowledged terhe was no proof. The problem of how the Australian animals got to and from the Ark is just one of many logical problems with the Bible theory. The problem with Bible literalists is that they assume the Bible is true and then hunt around for anything they can grab onto to support that rahter tgahn starting from an unbaised viewpoint and objectivley weighin up the evidence. This is why you can never win an argument with a witness - they assume they know the truth and clutch for anything to support their view and disregard or try to repute anything that doesn't. And if that fails they simply attack the motives fo the eprson saying it.
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What do you Poms think about the Cricket now
by barry inwe are 411 for 5 wickets now we won the toss and i think we are back.
' look out!
' .
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Frazzled UBM
As an Aussie, while I would like to see this test as a harbinger of a change of fortunes for us (and I was very gratified to see Piers Morgan's prediction of a run fest by the Poms proved wrong) the rain probably means it will end up as a draw and the Poms will retain the Ashes and Australia will revert to form and lose the last two tests.
As for those who say cricket is boring, this reflects a lack of appreciation for the finer points of the game. You can choose not to appreciate those finer points and not watch but please understand that for those who do it is anyhting but boring.
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I'm thinking about going back
by Corboy101 ini have been out for 22 years.i was raised as a jehovahs witness.
i was baptized in 1986 but soon after left the religion.
theres a whole lot to the reasons why i left, but i left.
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Frazzled UBM
I really get uncomfortable when Witnesses start talking about choice because the only born-ins who exercise choice (ande a very brave choice) are those that get out. The ones who get baptized are just doing what they are programmed to do. And once they get baptized all choice ceases. It is like North Korea calling itself Democratic - often the language authoritarian regimes use is an indicator that they are the reverse - the use of 'The Truth' by the WTBS is a great example of this but 'Choice' is not too far behind.
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JW attitudes to women
by Frazzled UBM ini would be very interested to hear from you ladies on this one.
i know that the society keeps women in subjugation through the headship cr@p but didn't ahve any sense about hoew prehistoric the attitudes are until the other day when we were driving out of the supermarket car park and my wife spotted a woman dressed in tight shorts (it has been very hot here) and she commented 'they say that women who dress like that dserve to be raped'.
i did a wtf and overreacted 'how can you blame the victim like that - such attitudes give men a lciense to commit rape and make women feel they are to balme if they get raped which in turn means that rape doesn't get reported and it gopes on with impunity.
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Frazzled UBM
Thanks to all who have contributed. My wife certainly has a Watchtower Society -induced inferiority complex. I have had disciplinary issues with my son because she cannot control him and he is 7 (she had this problem from the time he was 2). She struggles t make the most basic decision such as what to order at a restaurant. I try to compliment her on stuff to give her confidence and ask her opinion to encourage her to think for herself but as a born-in she really struggles. It is painful to watcha nd it really makes me mad to think of the psychological conditioning that has made her like that but then she doesn't understand my steadfast refusal to expose my son to the same crap. She is certainly intelligent and capable if she could just believe in herself. She woerks as a cleaner but could do much more if she studied.
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hello. pls help. getting married soon. afraid i won't be happy because wtbts said so.
by seasickbumblebee inalshello.
i'm a practicing jw.
finally decided to create an account to see whether you could all help me.. so i am engaged to this wonderful wonderful man and in three months time we'll be married.
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Frazzled UBM
Loyalty is the biggest issue - after you get married will his first loyaklty be to you or the organisation and the elders? This is what you find out from him. If not you then don't marry him. As others have said you will be in for a very tough time if you have doubts about The Truth as if you confide in him he will blab to the elders and you will have no control over your exit.
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JW attitudes to women
by Frazzled UBM ini would be very interested to hear from you ladies on this one.
i know that the society keeps women in subjugation through the headship cr@p but didn't ahve any sense about hoew prehistoric the attitudes are until the other day when we were driving out of the supermarket car park and my wife spotted a woman dressed in tight shorts (it has been very hot here) and she commented 'they say that women who dress like that dserve to be raped'.
i did a wtf and overreacted 'how can you blame the victim like that - such attitudes give men a lciense to commit rape and make women feel they are to balme if they get raped which in turn means that rape doesn't get reported and it gopes on with impunity.
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Frazzled UBM
Thanks for that BotR. So you confirmed my suspicions. Those attitudes are so denigrating for women. It seems there is an even bigger imperative to protect girls from the borg indoctrination though I hear what you say about the guys having their own issues. I think the reason my wife came looking for a worldly guy was because she didn't see any decent options at the KH. My brother-in -law is gay but my wife is like he is not gay he just has all gay friends and he has never had a girlfriend in his 35 year on the planet BUT HE IS NOT GAY. The capacity for denial is astounding. I really feel for him because he cannot show his family and be accepted by them for who he really is. He had the good sense not to get baptized though and spends his time on the periphery of the family. I think he may end up being one of my allies even though I haven't had much to do with him yet.
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How to stay married to a born-in JW?
by Frazzled UBM init is hard to work out where to begin.
i have been reading excerpts from this websikte for a long time and it along with a lot of the other sites have been incredibly helpful in helping me to understand what i have got myself into but i alos have no intention of getting out.
i love my wife dearly but in the 9 years i ahve known her and the 2.5 years we ahve been married i have gone through the full gammit of emotions, trials and trbulations and tactics to try to get her to understand that the society is not what it claims to be but to no avail.
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Frazzled UBM
Band on the run - thank you for saying you know how hard it is to maintain silence. I certainly feel for you in your situation. I can only imagien how hard it is to be shunned by your own family. That makes you that much braver for searching for the truth rather than accepting what is drilled into you. I applaud you. You say that my wife may be on the verge of leaving because she has married me. Unfortunately that was probably the case when I met her and impregnated her because she was leading a double life but as a consequence of her subsequent dfing and reinstatement she ahss ben drawn back in even more tightly. Still thanks to the kind people here I have fresh insight and a new determination to follow a softly soflty slowly slowly course to opening up her non-cult personality and encouraging her to appreciate the goodness of that part of her life that she spends asway frpom the cult.
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Question for Current or Former Elders (baptism of minors)
by Michelle365 ini have joint custody of my two children with my ex husband who is still raising the kids on his time as jws.
my 11 year old claims she is getting baptized at the next assembly.
i have heard that i can write a letter to the boe and say that i oppose her getting baptized before she is 18. is that true?
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Frazzled UBM
What this goes to show is how useful it would be to set up a free legal resource to assist the non-beleiving spouse to protect their kids from indoctrination by the Watchtower and baptism followed by a life of enslavement. The Watchtower provides free legal advice to help JWs to win custody battles but the non-JW spouse is left on their own. There are some lawyers who have identified helping the non-JW spouse as a niche but they are doing it for the money not as a social service. Pulling together a library of cases showing successful tactics in these situatiosn across the English speaking world would be a start. I am legally trained but have no family law expertise and won't have time to devote to this properly until I retire in 15 years time but unfortuatnely the need is now. I would be interested to hear from other lawyers out there who may be able to assist and perhaps we could work out how to make a start. Or if anyone has experience in fighting these sort of custody issues or can point us in the direction of anyone who might - please do so.
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JW attitudes to women
by Frazzled UBM ini would be very interested to hear from you ladies on this one.
i know that the society keeps women in subjugation through the headship cr@p but didn't ahve any sense about hoew prehistoric the attitudes are until the other day when we were driving out of the supermarket car park and my wife spotted a woman dressed in tight shorts (it has been very hot here) and she commented 'they say that women who dress like that dserve to be raped'.
i did a wtf and overreacted 'how can you blame the victim like that - such attitudes give men a lciense to commit rape and make women feel they are to balme if they get raped which in turn means that rape doesn't get reported and it gopes on with impunity.
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Frazzled UBM
I would be very interested to hear from you ladies on this one. I know that the Society keeps women in subjugation through the headship cr@p but didn't ahve any sense about hoew prehistoric the attitudes are until the other day when we were driving out of the supermarket car park and my wife spotted a woman dressed in tight shorts (it has been very hot here) and she commented 'they say that women who dress like that dserve to be raped'. I did a WTF and overreacted 'how can you blame the victim like that - such attitudes give men a lciense to commit rape and make women feel they are to balme if they get raped which in turn means that rape doesn't get reported and it gopes on with impunity.'
I asked her whether she felt that if she was to dress provocatively and got raped that she would be to blame. she didn't answer sensing that I was in full moral indignation mode. Then I remembered that Serena Williams, who though not baptized was given the same indotrination and identifies as a Witness, made a similarly insensitive remark about that girl who got raped by two boys on a football field late at night in the US. I think she said something along the lines 'What was she doing there?' to imply she was some how to blame.
The underlying premise is that men can't be blamed for failing to control their sexual impulses if women dress or act provocatively.
My analysis of the portrayal of women in the Bible Stories book for kids reflects an image of women as weak willed and easily corruptable and manipulators of men (the implication being that men would be pure without such wicked female influence). Eve is the classic example but you also have Lot's wife, Dinah, Pot'i-phar's wife, Job's wife and the classic Jezebel. I know these stories actually exist in the bible but I believe the way they are structured and presented in the Bible Stories is deliberately designed to send a message.
So my questions are these: Have I correctly understood Watchtower doctrine? Is this message delivered explicitly at KHs and DCs and in the propaganda? If so, is the result that as a JW woman wyou are constanly on guard against the evil tendencies and so not trusting yourself and second guessing every thoguht and deed? If so that must be a terrible way to view yourself.
I would be veyr interested in your observations as it may help me to better understand my wife. Thanks